Unwanted Children (Giving – Part 3)

Our first day in language school, I started talking with the guy I was sitting next to during the break.  I asked him why he was studying Russian and he told me it was something to do between drinking binges. 

I immediately had this suspicion that I wasn’t going to have a lot in common with this guy. 

When he asked me why we were in Kiev, I told him we were involved with an orphan ministry building transition homes for orphans once they age out of the state run institution.  3 out of 4 of the girls who leave the orphanage end up on the streets and turn to prostitution, and we want to show them a different way. 

He chuckled and said, “But what’s going to happen to Ukraine’s thriving massage parlor industry?”

I wanted to punch him in the teeth ... and then start getting violent.

But I held my temper, thought about it and said, “There will never be a shortage of unwanted children.”

There will never be a shortage of unwanted children. 

The first time I ever visited the orphanage, a little girl attacked me with a hug about 5 seconds after I got out of the van.  I didn’t catch her name that day, so when we were in the States raising support, I called her the “Smiling Hug Monster”.  I found out later that her name was Sasha.  Most of that first day she followed me as we went on a tour of the grounds, clinging to my side, legs, neck and back.  She had me help her ride a unicycle even though her feet wouldn’t touch the pedals.  I don’t know why she picked me to be her friend, but I was very glad she did.

(Me with Sasha last year)

This year, when we went up to the orphanage for First Bell (their first day), I saw her again.  Her hair was longer so she didn’t look like a little boy which was good.  But that day, she was much more withdrawn.  I said hi to her, and she smiled, but she spent most of her time with one of her friends.  About a half an hour before we left, I had out my video camera and was asking some of the kids, “What’s your name?” “How old are you?” and “What do you like to do?”  That did the trick.  She lit up in front of the camera.  She likes to dance, sing, and everything else a ten year old girl likes to do. 

When the team from the states visited in September, she was my shadow.  At the puppet show, she sat next to me and pulled my arm around her.  I saw a picture later of the whole group of us with the kids, it looks like I am choking her, but I assure you she was holding my hand there.  The first time I tried to pull my arm away to scratch my leg, she snatched it back and pulled it around her again. 

(Not much has changed, except our hair)

That was when it hit me, she needed that hug.  Not too long ago, we learned that Sasha’s mother lives in the same village, but she wants nothing to do with her daughter. 

We came over here to work with “unwanted children.”  We know the statistics, we’ve read stories, we’ve wondered about what the stories of all these kids are.  But it hit me like a kick in the gut to realize that this girl didn’t have anyone in her life who wanted to hug her. 

She was unwanted and she knew it. 

At the same time I sat with Sasha, Janna was holding her own unwanted child (click here to read more about her experiences that day).  Going home that day was so hard for both of us.  Later, I came into our room and found Janna bawling because she couldn’t take it.  We just curled up together, and cried. 

Sasha was one of them.  I found her, hugged, her and then started pulling her over to where we were going to play a game.  She wanted me to carry her on my shoulders.  I had already decided no carrying today, we were going to be there for longer than usual because there was no school, and my back never likes me the day after we visit the orphanage because I wasn’t built to carry 10 year olds around like they were 5 year olds. 

So I told her, “Not today.”

She promptly dropped to the ground and started crying a very fake cry.  My 1 year old niece has done this a few times when she didn’t get what she wanted, and my sister would step in and put an end to the begging … because she loves her daughter. 

It gets overwhelming sometimes.  Where do you start teaching a ten year old the things that she should learn when she’s just a toddler?  I know Sasha is just begging for the attention that she’s never received.  She wants to be picked up like a baby because she’s trying to make up for lost time.  But she also needs boundaries. 

I sat with her for a few minutes as she refused to look at me, wondering what to do.  Asking God what to do. 

There will never be a shortage of unwanted children in the world. 

It’s a simple fact. And I HATE it.

At the orphanage, I am making a lot of little friends.  Andre, who schools me at soccer.  The spastic little kid with the unpronounceable name who loves to watch Andre schooling me at soccer.  Boy Sasha, who already schooled me at soccer and has decided I’m not worth his time on the field, but will still hang out with me a little.  Zhenya, who thankfully rubs some of his cute off onto me every time we hang out.  Lira, who is way too big to be picked up like a little baby, but still will spend hours grabbing your neck and trying to get you to pick her up.  Little Vita who is an enchanting storyteller, even if I don’t understand a single word she says.  Bigger Vita who I loaned my camera too and came back with 300 pictures.  And then there is the entire 5 and 6 year old crew who love it when their favorite jungle gym (yours truly) shows up to play. 

(Sasha, Vita, Sasha and me)

But, I have a mission.  Every time I go to the orphanage, there is one specific girl that will know that she is loved.

Not long ago we showed up during a break in school.  I was being ganged up on by a mass of kids who wanted to play “Push-of-war (cause we didn’t have any rope), when Sasha came out.  I stopped the game … by running away… and went over and gave her a big hug.  It wasn’t much, she was busy playing soccer.  But the big smile on her face made my day, and hopefully my smile made hers.

I know that it’s going to take years before I can really have an effect on her life.  But, no matter what her mom thinks about her, no matter what the world may tell her.  God loves her, and we love her.  And I will do everything I can to show her that.

There will be one less unwanted child in the world.