(I’m going to write more on our experience at camp, but this is just about my relationship with kids who were in my room.)
Vlad was sitting on my left. His head resting on my chest. “You’re my new uncle. You’re a good uncle.” Man, that made me feel great.
Valerie who was sitting on my right, head also on my chest, said, “You’re my new papa. You’re a good papa.” That brought up more complicated feelings for me.
I felt great because it was only the second night of camp and Valerie already trusted me, but I felt terrible because I knew the only reason Valerie was saying that was because he wanted and needed someone to be his papa. I squeezed both of the boys as I held back tears. I hate what these kids have to live through.
Me with Vlad and Valerie
During the second day I realized that I needed to be a little more than just a cool guy who hung out with these kids. I had to be papa. I reminded them that they needed to wash their hands, brush their teeth, and told the oldest boy that he needed to take a shower because he was starting to get a little ripe. I also put together costumes for every one of them for the costume party that we had the second night. One night I sat with Vlad and Valerie and read to them (in English) for about 15 minutes before we all went to sleep.
I also was the one to wake them up every morning, and I remembered that when I was a kid and even now, my dad likes to wake me up and rub my back in the morning. I love it, so I decided to carry on the legacy, so every morning, I ran into our room screaming like a mad man, jumped on top of who ever was nearest, gave them a big hug, and then rubbed their backs for just a bit befor e moving on to the next kid.
When we played games I always cheered for my boys. When we went for walks we had snowball fights. During our worship services, I sat with one or two of my boys, typically Valerie, and they leaned on my while we sang and listened to the message.
The first night when we watched a movie, Valerie snuggled up to me for the whole film, eventually falling asleep up against my legs.
My boy, Valerie.
Valerie is in the fourth grade, he’s a bit old to be as clingy as he is. But he lives in an orphanage, so he’s starved for physical contact. All the kids are. In general, kids who live in the orphanages are a lot smaller than other kids their age, because they don’t get proper nutrition, they have a lot of stress in their lives and because they don’t get enough healthy physical contact. Hugs help you grow properly, I kid you not.
Valerie’s brother, Roma, is in fifth grade and he already smokes. Most kids start smoking, drinking, doing drugs or having sex very young in the orphanage out of sheer boredom. I talked to Roma about his smoking, and he confirmed this. He smoked cause he was bored and the other kids did it. We had a talk about it one night. And I’m praying that he remembers what we talked about, cause if he keeps smoking it will be harder and harder to quit and easier and easier to move on to drugs and alcohol.
So, I spent my week trying to be a surrogate dad. Trying to love on the boys. Trying to encourage and challenge them.
And then I had to say goodbye. And I cried. It wasn’t just that I was going to miss the boys. I didn’t want them to go where they were going. There were a lot of tears shed.
Roma took my number and I’ve gotten over 20 phone calls in the last two days. This isn't totally awesome, because trying to understand mumbling little kids speaking in Ukrainian over the phone is INCREDIBLY difficult so there just isn't that much to say. But, Roma, Vlad, Valerie, Yaroslav and a few others have told my they miss me, told me they are bored and asked when I’m coming to visit. Roma told me that he is reading his Bible, and I cried. I’m praying that God will continue to speak to the boys.
When we are with the kids, I often want to bring some of them home. This week it was definitely Valerie. He is such a good, sweet kid and he deserves a home. I want him to be loved and to know that he is loved. And if he stays in the orphanage and no one steps in to help him find another path, his future doesn’t look to bright.
In a way that’s where we all are. And God wants us to know that He loves us. He wants us to have a good Papa that will take care of us, because on our own we aren’t going to handle our lives very well. That’s why so often in the Bible he compares following Him to being adopted. That’s what our ministry is about showing the kids consistently that we love them, and consistently pointing them to the God who loves them even more.
Camp was awesome, and heartbreaking. So yeah, I can’t wait to go back.
Vlad was sitting on my left. His head resting on my chest. “You’re my new uncle. You’re a good uncle.” Man, that made me feel great.
Valerie who was sitting on my right, head also on my chest, said, “You’re my new papa. You’re a good papa.” That brought up more complicated feelings for me.
I felt great because it was only the second night of camp and Valerie already trusted me, but I felt terrible because I knew the only reason Valerie was saying that was because he wanted and needed someone to be his papa. I squeezed both of the boys as I held back tears. I hate what these kids have to live through.
Me with Vlad and Valerie
********
This past week, Janna and I were at camp with Safe Haven. We were told we couldn’t visit the orphanage in Komarivka so we took advantage of the opportunity to see how Safe Haven does their camps and love on some kids who need it. The camp is geared for the older kids, but there are always a few younger kids who don’t have anywhere to go during spring break, so they come to camp too. I got to stay in a room with 5 third through fifth graders. During the second day I realized that I needed to be a little more than just a cool guy who hung out with these kids. I had to be papa. I reminded them that they needed to wash their hands, brush their teeth, and told the oldest boy that he needed to take a shower because he was starting to get a little ripe. I also put together costumes for every one of them for the costume party that we had the second night. One night I sat with Vlad and Valerie and read to them (in English) for about 15 minutes before we all went to sleep.
I also was the one to wake them up every morning, and I remembered that when I was a kid and even now, my dad likes to wake me up and rub my back in the morning. I love it, so I decided to carry on the legacy, so every morning, I ran into our room screaming like a mad man, jumped on top of who ever was nearest, gave them a big hug, and then rubbed their backs for just a bit befor e moving on to the next kid.
When we played games I always cheered for my boys. When we went for walks we had snowball fights. During our worship services, I sat with one or two of my boys, typically Valerie, and they leaned on my while we sang and listened to the message.
The first night when we watched a movie, Valerie snuggled up to me for the whole film, eventually falling asleep up against my legs.
My boy, Valerie.Valerie is in the fourth grade, he’s a bit old to be as clingy as he is. But he lives in an orphanage, so he’s starved for physical contact. All the kids are. In general, kids who live in the orphanages are a lot smaller than other kids their age, because they don’t get proper nutrition, they have a lot of stress in their lives and because they don’t get enough healthy physical contact. Hugs help you grow properly, I kid you not.
Valerie’s brother, Roma, is in fifth grade and he already smokes. Most kids start smoking, drinking, doing drugs or having sex very young in the orphanage out of sheer boredom. I talked to Roma about his smoking, and he confirmed this. He smoked cause he was bored and the other kids did it. We had a talk about it one night. And I’m praying that he remembers what we talked about, cause if he keeps smoking it will be harder and harder to quit and easier and easier to move on to drugs and alcohol.
So, I spent my week trying to be a surrogate dad. Trying to love on the boys. Trying to encourage and challenge them.
And then I had to say goodbye. And I cried. It wasn’t just that I was going to miss the boys. I didn’t want them to go where they were going. There were a lot of tears shed.
Roma took my number and I’ve gotten over 20 phone calls in the last two days. This isn't totally awesome, because trying to understand mumbling little kids speaking in Ukrainian over the phone is INCREDIBLY difficult so there just isn't that much to say. But, Roma, Vlad, Valerie, Yaroslav and a few others have told my they miss me, told me they are bored and asked when I’m coming to visit. Roma told me that he is reading his Bible, and I cried. I’m praying that God will continue to speak to the boys.
When we are with the kids, I often want to bring some of them home. This week it was definitely Valerie. He is such a good, sweet kid and he deserves a home. I want him to be loved and to know that he is loved. And if he stays in the orphanage and no one steps in to help him find another path, his future doesn’t look to bright.
In a way that’s where we all are. And God wants us to know that He loves us. He wants us to have a good Papa that will take care of us, because on our own we aren’t going to handle our lives very well. That’s why so often in the Bible he compares following Him to being adopted. That’s what our ministry is about showing the kids consistently that we love them, and consistently pointing them to the God who loves them even more.
Camp was awesome, and heartbreaking. So yeah, I can’t wait to go back.
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