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The stress of being an 8 year old in Ukraine

  “Mom, how long are we going to stay here in the Czech Republic?” 8 year old Bodya asked Anya as they walked home one day.

“I’m not sure.  One month, maybe two.  We have to get you and your brother back to Ukraine before school starts in September.”   Anya had only brought the boys back to Czech Republic from Ukraine earlier in the week.  “Why are you asking?”  

“It’s easier here in the Czech Republic.  It’s easier away from the war.  I’m tired of the war.  In Ukraine everyone is always talking about the war.  I just wish that they would stop.  At night the sirens wake me up and I don’t like the sound.  I’m tired of always having to go to the basement during school.  And I don’t like the sound of the explosions.”

Each sentence that Bodya spoke hit Anya like a punch in the stomach.  

Bodya and the rest of his family in Kyiv, Ukraine had just lived through the two most difficult months that that part of Ukraine had experienced since the first days of the war.  Two months, where Russian forces sent barrages of missile more than every other night.  We (the Rosses) experienced it while we were there the first week in June.  It’s hard to have a normal day because even if there is no missile strike, you don’t get a good night’s sleep because you are wondering if tonight will be a missile strike.  Bogdon has been in the habit of going out into the yard at Safe Haven when the air raid siren goes off.  They live right in the path of many of the missiles and drones that are launched.  He takes a fire extinguisher and stands watch in case flaming wreckage falls onto some part of Safe Haven and starts a fire.  He was doing this not long ago and just beyond their house, Bogdon saw a missile streak in from the East and over his head flew in a defensive missile and impacted the Russian missile right in front of him.  Bogdon said that the only thing that he could do was cover his ears and duck his head.  When I asked Bogdon how far away this took place, he shook his head, but then said, “It was just right … there,” holding his arm out in front of him.  

In spite of all this, Anya and Bogdon had thought that they were doing a pretty good job of insulating their boys from most of the war.  They thought that Bodya wasn’t listening when they talked and he played with his toys near them.  Anya was sure that her boys were sleeping through the air raid sirens and explosions.  

But Anya had noticed that both of the boys would pile on blankets at night and they would place blankets and pillows all around their heads.  When the weather started getting warmer, she asked them if they wanted to start using fewer blankets so that they wouldn’t be so hot.  That was when they told her that the pillows kept things quieter and they also figured that if a missile hit their house, the extra blankets would protect them from the explosion.  If you are a parent, I’m sure you can imagine how Anya felt hearing her boys trying to take these little steps to protect themselves from missile strikes. 

In the two bedroom apartment that the Safe Haven family has in the Czech Republic, Anya and Bodya sleep in twin beds pushed together.  One night, they had laid down to go to sleep, and Anya was scrolling through social media postings from friends.  One friend had posted a video from the front and the sound popped on.  Sounds of war.  Bodya didn’t roll over, but he reached down and pulled his blanket up over his head and he hid under the covers.  Anya put her phone away. 

We all have friends and family who are involved in the war and are at risk.  We can’t look away.  Even 16 months in, we compulsively check the news.  But we do need to be wise let the kids have time away from the war. 

Earlier this year, Anya and Bogdon decided to let their two youngest finish out the school year in Ukraine.  They were really struggling here in the Czech Republic.  The boys were so excited to go back.  Now that they are back in the Czech Republic for most of the summer, Pasha (14) still wants to go back to Ukraine, but it seems, Bodya doesn’t.  The whole time that they have been int he Czech Republic, they have been attending Ukrainian school.  This coming year, that won’t be an option.  If the boys stay here, Anya has no idea what she should do with them.  


Anya now has to make decisions.  And every option in front of her has negative consequences for all of her kids.  


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