Last night, we skyped in with our home church. They had asked us to make a video sermon about faith and our ministry, and then we skyped with them and had a little question and answer time. We had talked with a few people about doing this before, but this was the first time that we had actually done it. It was really cool.
But unless you are in the zone, its easy for questions to catch you off guard. This is what happened last night when Kinzi (spelling?) asked us what our greatest fears were and how did we overcome them. Now that I've had a chance to think about the question, I decided that I would answer it here, and if Kinzi happens to read this, that would be great.
I've been blessed that my entire life, seems to have been preparing me for my life here in Ukraine, except for that fact that I didn't study Russian in high school (which is nuts because I was one of the very few kids who actually had the opportunity to study Russian, but noooo I had to study French which I never used and of which I remember a whopping 10 words). But I moved out of my parents house two years early to study at Oklahoma School of Science of Mathematics, which was a ridiculously hard school. Then I moved 1000 miles away from home, studied Mechanical Engineering for four years, and then became a youth minister. So I'm used to making big changes, going places that are hard and where I don't know people.
I'm also used to working really hard for something and then changing directions because that's just where God called me. Looking back, I'm able to see how God has been shaping me during each phase of my life and am amazed at how he's been in control even when it felt like everything that had come before was a mistake. But that doesn't mean that the transition time isn't scary.
Fear number 1 - starting Children's Hope Ukraine
A year after moving to Ukraine, it became very clear that we needed to change mission organizations. None of our team here in Ukraine could agree with the decisions that were being dictated to us from people over us in the states. As a team we decided to break away and start our own thing. We would start a house for the kids from Komarivka and oversee it ourselves. We were sure about the direction God was leading us, but the fear came from what other people would think. We didn't want to bad mouth our former organization, but we wondered how people would see us if about a year into a two year commitment we made such a big jump. The fear was that people wouldn't understand, our support would dry up and we would have to pack our bags and go home even if it was God's plan. When we started Second Chance Janna and I made the commitment to fund the house until we could raise the support and Children's Hope could cover it. We knew that funding a home with what we had, we could last for six months if new support didn't come it, then we would have to close the doors and call it a failure. I can't say that that fear ever completely went away, but we went for it, and God has blessed Children's Hope Ukraine in so many ways. We didn't have to go home. Now two years later, we have three homes that we are in charge of and funding, and most of all, our relationship and witness with the kids is ever increasing.
Fear number 2 - taking on Safe Haven
At the beginning of the year Safe Haven left their former organization to join Children's Hope Ukraine. The reasons were, again, very complicated, but essentially, their former organization provided the funds for their ministry, but didn't help them in any other way. When Safe Haven house parents, Bogdon and Anya, approached us, they told us that they were burnt out and they needed more help than they were getting. They knew us and trusted us, so they wanted to join us. We were thrilled to have them on board, humbled that they trusted us so much and excited to be more involved in this great ministry.
Bogdon and Anya told us that they needed to take the summer off because they had been doing this for more than ten years, every year there were new kids coming into their home that they would have to invest in for two to four years and then the kids would move out. It is a difficult and draining ministry. They had earned a break. But that is where the fear came in, Anya and Bogdon said that after three months off they would come back to the house, but they also needed to evaluate how long they could continue this ministry. What if they decided they couldn't continue the ministry? What if we couldn't find house parents to replace them? What if less than a year after we took on Safe Haven it closed? Could our organization handle that type of loss? This was scary stuff to think about.
But once again, when we went to God, he made it clear that this was what we should do. And so now Safe Haven is a part of our organization, we have to raise the support for them, support them the best we can, give them time this summer to rest and refresh, and we have to trust that no matter what happens that God is in control.
When we face those big scary decisions, I try to give myself time to think about it, pray about it, worry about it, give that worry over to God. But teaches me over and over again, that once I know where he is calling me I need to move. And like getting into a cold swimming pool, taking a running jump is the best way to go.
I think the greatest fear that I face all the time is not being ashamed of God and Jesus who died for me on the cross. I'm still scared of sharing my faith. Some opportunities I have to share about what God is doing in my life, I work up the courage and share, but I still miss so many chances because I am just scared. And that is something that I can't make a one time decision about, I have to deal with that every day.
But unless you are in the zone, its easy for questions to catch you off guard. This is what happened last night when Kinzi (spelling?) asked us what our greatest fears were and how did we overcome them. Now that I've had a chance to think about the question, I decided that I would answer it here, and if Kinzi happens to read this, that would be great.
I've been blessed that my entire life, seems to have been preparing me for my life here in Ukraine, except for that fact that I didn't study Russian in high school (which is nuts because I was one of the very few kids who actually had the opportunity to study Russian, but noooo I had to study French which I never used and of which I remember a whopping 10 words). But I moved out of my parents house two years early to study at Oklahoma School of Science of Mathematics, which was a ridiculously hard school. Then I moved 1000 miles away from home, studied Mechanical Engineering for four years, and then became a youth minister. So I'm used to making big changes, going places that are hard and where I don't know people.
I'm also used to working really hard for something and then changing directions because that's just where God called me. Looking back, I'm able to see how God has been shaping me during each phase of my life and am amazed at how he's been in control even when it felt like everything that had come before was a mistake. But that doesn't mean that the transition time isn't scary.
Fear number 1 - starting Children's Hope Ukraine
A year after moving to Ukraine, it became very clear that we needed to change mission organizations. None of our team here in Ukraine could agree with the decisions that were being dictated to us from people over us in the states. As a team we decided to break away and start our own thing. We would start a house for the kids from Komarivka and oversee it ourselves. We were sure about the direction God was leading us, but the fear came from what other people would think. We didn't want to bad mouth our former organization, but we wondered how people would see us if about a year into a two year commitment we made such a big jump. The fear was that people wouldn't understand, our support would dry up and we would have to pack our bags and go home even if it was God's plan. When we started Second Chance Janna and I made the commitment to fund the house until we could raise the support and Children's Hope could cover it. We knew that funding a home with what we had, we could last for six months if new support didn't come it, then we would have to close the doors and call it a failure. I can't say that that fear ever completely went away, but we went for it, and God has blessed Children's Hope Ukraine in so many ways. We didn't have to go home. Now two years later, we have three homes that we are in charge of and funding, and most of all, our relationship and witness with the kids is ever increasing.
Fear number 2 - taking on Safe Haven
At the beginning of the year Safe Haven left their former organization to join Children's Hope Ukraine. The reasons were, again, very complicated, but essentially, their former organization provided the funds for their ministry, but didn't help them in any other way. When Safe Haven house parents, Bogdon and Anya, approached us, they told us that they were burnt out and they needed more help than they were getting. They knew us and trusted us, so they wanted to join us. We were thrilled to have them on board, humbled that they trusted us so much and excited to be more involved in this great ministry.
Bogdon and Anya told us that they needed to take the summer off because they had been doing this for more than ten years, every year there were new kids coming into their home that they would have to invest in for two to four years and then the kids would move out. It is a difficult and draining ministry. They had earned a break. But that is where the fear came in, Anya and Bogdon said that after three months off they would come back to the house, but they also needed to evaluate how long they could continue this ministry. What if they decided they couldn't continue the ministry? What if we couldn't find house parents to replace them? What if less than a year after we took on Safe Haven it closed? Could our organization handle that type of loss? This was scary stuff to think about.
But once again, when we went to God, he made it clear that this was what we should do. And so now Safe Haven is a part of our organization, we have to raise the support for them, support them the best we can, give them time this summer to rest and refresh, and we have to trust that no matter what happens that God is in control.
When we face those big scary decisions, I try to give myself time to think about it, pray about it, worry about it, give that worry over to God. But teaches me over and over again, that once I know where he is calling me I need to move. And like getting into a cold swimming pool, taking a running jump is the best way to go.
I think the greatest fear that I face all the time is not being ashamed of God and Jesus who died for me on the cross. I'm still scared of sharing my faith. Some opportunities I have to share about what God is doing in my life, I work up the courage and share, but I still miss so many chances because I am just scared. And that is something that I can't make a one time decision about, I have to deal with that every day.
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