The best of 2014. The worst of 2014.

2014 highs

Fall retreat

            Fall retreat started with a really big disappointment and ended up being one of the best times that we’ve ever had with some of the kids who live in the orphanage.  The plan was that we would start out the week with the older kids, and this would let us get to know them better, and would let Kolya and Halya get to know them better so that they would have a better feel for who they should invite to live in Second Chance after the kids finish ninth grade.  The second part of the week we planned to spend in the orphanage doing a program for all the kids who don’t have anywhere to go. 

Leading up to the retreat, the director of the orphanage had been telling us that the kids who are wards of the state would be able to go to the camp without any problem.  He would just give permission.  We checked with him about this for almost two months,  we told him that we could do the camp officially through the central office just in case anything happened (this is standard procedure for another transition home), but the director told us that this was unneccesary … until we showed up with a 14 passenger van and another car to pick up what we thought were going to be 14-20 kids.  The last day the director decided that he couldn’t just sign over permission for those kids to come with us because he couldn’t do that without official permission.  We’ll talk more about the orphanage director here, but suffice it to say I’m not a fan. 

In the end we only got 7 kids, for the first part of the week.  And only one of them was a girl.  Our team was actually bigger than the kids that we had with us.  While we were disappointed about the kids that didn’t come, we were able to really pour into the kids who did come and it turned out being a great weekend.

Thanks to that time we had with the older kids before spending time in the orphanage, when we moved the crew up to the orphanage, the older kids participated in everything, which is a first.  The younger kids also did better all of the days except for the last day where they all seemed to go pretty crazy, but altogether it was one of the best times we’ve had at the orphanage, and the orphanage staff interrupted less than usual. In fact, they seemed fairly grateful that we were there, which is not usually the case. 

It was also really cool, because we are all getting more confident in our roles, which makes camp go by so much more smoothly.  I am getting better with the music (doing music this past spring was fairly painful, but its already worlds different).  Kolya is getting more comfortable at initiating with the kids.  Meisha led one of the group times, and read a story in Russian.  Everyone is improving and its making a big difference.

Summer camp

When we wrapped up summer camp, everyone had pretty much the same comment.  There were plenty of little things  that we can do better, but all in all, it was a great camp.  Far better than we could have hoped for.

The best part of it was that, for years we have been going to the state run camps, or the orphanage and doing programs.  We would usually get permission to do a full day program several days in a row only to show up and find out that we could only do a few hours, and we couldn’t even do that all week.  It was very frustrating and confining. 

But doing our own camp, we got to spend the entire day with the kids.  We slept in the tents with them.  I woke my boys up in the morning by pouncing on them.  When Sasha had a break down on the day we asked the question, “Where is God when I feel alone?”  I got to sit with him, listen to his story and then just hold him for about 30 minutes while he cried.  We all had multiple moments like that where we thought, “This whole week was worth it for this moment.” 

The kids keep asking about next summer’s camp.

I can’t wait.

Friendship with Oksana

I (Janna) befriended a little girl at the orphanage named Oksana. She has darker skin, and so the kids are mean to her, and I don't think she has very many friends. She just started the first grade, but she is already nine years old (just one more reason for the kids to tease her). I assume that prior to the orphanage, her grandmother didn't send her to school. She is, however, a pretty good kid and whenever I go to the orphanage, I seek her out and try to show her lots of love and attention. I let her borrow my phone so that she can call her grandmother, probably the person she loves most in the world. Sometimes after those phone calls, Oksana will press a candy into my hand and say thank you.

One day while Oksana was talking to her grandmother, she passes the phone to me and says, "My Grandma wants to talk to you!" In my head I'm going "great....I hope I can understand her...please speak slowly and clearly!" Talking on the phone is really hard. However, we had a good conversation and she thanked me for being Oksana's friend, and then she said "Oksana just adores you!" At that point I realized the power of influence, and that I can do a lot for this little girl to build her up, let her know that God loves her so much, and that he has a plan for her. Pray for me as I continue to get to know this precious little girl!

Relationship with Second Chance

Our house parents, Kolya and Halya, aren’t perfect, and neither are we. However, we love working with them.  Even when we disagree about things, from how the house should be run to politics to what times normal people eat (midnight is not a normal time to eat, you nutjobs!), we always deal with these disagreements with openness and respect.  Kolya and Halya are always open to input, and Kolya has approached me several times for advice about issues that don’t even have anything to do with his work. 

We love how intentional they are, and how natural they are with the kids. 

We love spending time with them, and feel so blessed that we get to partner with them in ministry. 

Building in Kharkiv and Chernivtsi.

Seriously, my building projects are the energy boost that I need to get me through the rest of the year.  I write this as I am on my home from one of those trips.  My hands, neck, back, legs, feet, shoulder and knees are aching because we pushed an average of 10 hours every day, in super cold, and honestly gross weather to get a roof done.  Today, I was so tired and ready to be done that I was just getting mad.  But once I’ve had some time to recover, I’ll be ready for another one.  Which is good because I have a few more days of work in Kharkiv. 

Such a huge portion of my work is on the computer or sitting and studying.  I write English lessons, newsletters, work on the website, write messages for church and camps on my computer.  A couple times a year, I put together some new type of materials for Children’s Hope Ukraine and that is pretty intensive computer work.  We spend a pretty big chunk of time just communicating with people in the States who are helping in this way or that, and all of that is one the computer.  I don’t mind that work too much, and I know it’s necessary, we wouldn’t have homes if I didn’t do what I do, but after a while I get stir crazy.  I like working with my hands, I like to move and sweat, I like building stuff.  And if I get to help build a home that will be used to help kids know our Father and learn what he has planned for them, how sweet is that?

I like working with the guys who go with me.  I like seeing them slowly start looking around and start thinking for themselves.  I love the fact that they are looking for my approval.  And I’m not too proud to admit that its cool when they tell I’m a good builder. 

I’m pretty sure that the need for building will continue so I should be able to keep doing these types of trips.  And that’s fine by me. 

Finding two restaurants in Kiev that we like.

Okay, when was the last time you specifically thanked God for bringing a new restaurant into your life?  If you have, there is a good chance that you don’t live in the country were you were born.

There were over two years when we only went out to eat when we either had no choice or Americans were visiting and we wanted them to experience Ukrainian food, or we weren’t in Kiev (which happens every 3 months).  Janna and I have never made a habit of going out to eat a lot (except when we are support raising, but that is because everyone wants to take us out to eat). Its nice once or twice a month to just say, let’s let someone else cook tonight.  We had tried a handful of restaurants and there was just never anything that we really enjoyed.

That was until our friend Heather told us about Star Burger and Tennessee Steak House.  Good food, American food even (sweet!), decent prices, and they are both just one bus ride from our place.  Star Burger has become our after camp restaurant.  And Tennessee Steak House is just amazing.  Thank you Lord, for these two restaurants!

Friendship with Ira

It takes a while for the kids who come into our homes to open up and really embrace being a part of the family.  Marina still isn’t really there in a lot of ways.  She is easy to talk to and hang out with, but she stays aloof.  Ira, on the other hand, started embracing Kolya and Halya much sooner than Marina.  Ira also wants to do things with the family, for instance, she opted to do the fall retreat with us while Marina went home to spend the week with her dad. 

Fall retreat is where I really started getting closer to Ira.  Like I said earlier, fall retreat was a great time to get closer to all the kids.  But the second part of the week, our team spent every night at a church about a half hour away from the orphanage, and most of those nights while I worked on a piñata for the kids; Ira, Kolya and I just talked.  It was good to just get to know each other.  And now we can just sit around and talk, joke around or play games, things that Marina usually declines to do. Its neat to look back on the progress we've made with the kids, and Ira is a good example of that.

Starting English lessons in Komarivka

It has long been a frustration that almost every week for about 12 years, Americans have visited the orphanage in Komarivka and yet, never has a single kid there ever even tried to have a conversation with any of us other than “Hello.  What is your name?”  It would be a little easier to accept if learning English wasn’t such an obvious advantage for any kid finishing school and trying to find a job.  It would also be easier to accept if the kids didn’t “study” English every year starting in first grade.

For years we have been offering to show up and help the English teacher and just give kids time with native speakers in the class. However, last year, the director of the orphanage told our Director, Doug, “We don’t need your help, we have an English teacher and the kids are already learning English.” 

Ha! Yeah right.

So, the last few weeks of last year I just started doing lessons on my own during the little time we have at the orphanage.  My first week I tried to do a lesson on the verbs “to be” and “to have.”  It was really simple and had lots of pictures,.  There were probably only twenty words on the whole page.  But it was far too complicated, so the next week, I just worked on the verb to be.  I am happy, I am sick, You are tired. 

Each week, the lesson is a bit chaotic, kids come and go as they please.  Some of the kids I really want to come and drag into class either don’t come or leave after a few minutes.  But I do have three girls who are trying and already know some stuff.  

It’s encouraging to have something a little more tangible to contribute at the orphanage other than just being the guy who plays games with the kids. 

The director at Komarivka is more willing to work with us than ever

It is totally the directors fault, but last year almost every Christian group that had tried to help out the orphanage stopped, and went looking for another orphanage with a director who would be easier to work with.  And then with the revolution, and Ukraine’s financial crisis, the funds that the orphanage receive are drying up fast.  They have the money for food and heat, but that is about it.  So, right now, the director is realizing that he needs us if the school is going to have shoes for the kids and cleaning supplies for the orphanage.   This means that, while he isn’t even pleasant with us, he at least is agreeing to let us do programs and hasn’t told us that we can’t come to the orphanage … for now.

We aren’t holding our breath that this will last, but for now, we thank God for the slight warming. 

2014 Lows

Losing Dad.

On September 22nd, 2014, my Dad Paul passed away unexpectedly. Someday I would like to write more about it, but I can't now. Its still too soon, too raw and painful. Though I miss him so much, I will see him again and that gives me hope.

Tanya left Second Chance and is already pregnant.

We want the lives of all the kids who come to live in Second Chance to be changed forever.   So when Tanya, willingly chose to leave the home to live with her boyfriend, who is ten years older than her, didn’t attend school this year, and is already pregnant … it’s crushing. 

Safe Haven mom, Anya, says that all of our kids are looking for an anchor in their lives.  So when girls find a boyfriend around the time of graduation from the orphanage, that guy becomes their anchor, no matter what anyone says.  There is nothing we can do, as heartbreaking as that is to admit.  If the kids don’t have another anchor then the transition home can become that and in the homes we can teach them to allow God to be our anchor throughout life.  But for transition home ministry boyfriends and girlfriends are bad news. 

Two other girls from Tanya and Marina’s class already have babies

The week we found out that Tanya was pregnant; we also learned that one of her classmates had just given birth to a premature baby.  Not long after that another girl from the same class gave birth.  This is typical, girls graduate from the orphanage, don’t finish school, get pregnant, can’t really handle the responsibility of being a parent and end up placing their child in the same orphanage they grew up in. 

We knew this would happen.  But for us, this was the first time we had seen it happen so fast, with kids that we knew, kids that we had hoped might have been able to live in Second Chance and have a different, brighter future ahead of them. 

Situation in Ukraine

We were a few miles away when police snipers killed almost 100 protestors on Maidan, we watched the news as Russia annexed Crimea, and we’ve followed as Russia has made a proxy war in Eastern Ukraine.  We’ve also watched with disappointment as Ukraine’s “new” government which is full of a lot of old faces, has held on to a lot of corruption that put us in this mess in the first place. 

It has been stressful.  It hurts hearing about the people who are dying.  I think it hurts worse to hear about the people in Russia who have turned on friends in Ukraine because they believe the lies that the Russian media is putting out about Ukrainian fascism and the Ukrainian army. 

It will be a very long time before Ukraine can dig itself out of this hole, and it’s going to take a lot of will power.  But at this point, it seems likely that things will get worse before they get better. 

Petro being called up to the army

Every week, I look over the pictures of Ukrainian soldiers who have been killed.  I always pray, “Please God, don’ t let Petro end up here. 

Petro grew up in the orphanage of Komarivka and Doug has taken him under his arm.  Twice Doug was able to help Petro find a good job where it was very likely that he could move up because he is a good worker.  However, both times he was called up to the army.  The first time to serve a one year conscription, and now he is serving in a artillery unit on the front in Eastern Ukraine. 

We hear from Petro regularly, and his unit seems to be doing a good job of taking care of their youngest member.  We’ve helped him get proper gear including a bullet proof vest and good winter boots.  The Stoddards also send him food regularly because they aren’t fed well on the front. 

Failing to get Zena, Ali and Sanya for winter break

It’s always difficult dealing with the parents of kids in the orphanage. 

We wanted to get Zena and Ali to come to our summer camp.  But after weeks of trying, we still couldn’t get ahold of their mom to get written permission.  This stinks because their mom lives in Kiev and we would have gone to her.  Then we tried the same thing for Fall Break camp, with the same results.  So, Kolya tried one more time to get ahold of their mom and get permission to just bring the two of the down for Christmas break.  Still nothing.  Zena and Ali have a mom, she retains her parental rights, but no one can get ahold of her.  The orphanage director told our teammate that they would never go anywhere because their mom just doesn’t care about them.

Sanya is pretty much in the same boat, and Kolya wanted to bring him down for Christmas break too.  Sanya can’t remember the last time he saw his mom; he only remembers living in orphanages, but his mom still retains her rights.  Kolya got ahold of Sanya’s mom and initially she was in favor of Sanya spending time at Second Chance.  But then her boyfriend decided that this was a bad idea and Sanya should just stay in the orphanage.  They don’t want to have anything to do with him, but they don’t want anyone else to either. 

Ira’s waning desire to try at school and in the home

Ira grew up in the orphanage.  Everything was done for her.  School was never hard, and it was never expected that she would do well.  She never had to work, and neither did her family. 

Moving to Second Chance is a big transition.   Kolya and Halya make her do her chores and they make her do it right.  If she wants to earn money, she has to do other work.  She goes to a much harder school, and Kolya and Halya work with her on her homework and they don’t stop until its done right.  We do English lessons with her and the lesson isn’t over until we are satisfied with what she has covered, and if she complains, the lesson becomes longer.  Now she has to go to church, and church isn’t always entertaining.  This is a big change from Christian groups that came to the orphanage and did skits, sang songs with motions, and shared engaging Bible stories with crafts to go along with them.

This is a big transition.  And lately Ira has been getting tired of trying.  She is convinced that she can just live in the village, work a little and everything will be fine.  Who cares about trying? 

It’s been frustrating to watch, and we are constantly praying for Ira. 

The director in Komarivka still shuts us down without reason or logic.

I’ve already talked about the director.  I don’t like him.  He doesn’t care about the kids, he just cares about making his own life easier and not getting in trouble.  So, he shuts us down whenever he feels like it.  He also tries to make us buy things for the orphanage just to be able to visit, instead of talking to us like adults and sharing the orphanages needs, which we genuinely care about. 

We’ve been praying for a long time that God will remove this obstacle.   It’s time for the director to retire anyways :)