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Forming relationships with kids in the orphanage

Janna and I both wondered how the kids in the orphanage would act towards us when we returned from 4 months in the US.  Janna was especially worried that we would have to start again with our relationships. 

Most of the groups that I spoke to in the US, I told about Sasha.  I couldn’t wait to get back and see Sasha again.  So the first day that I went up to the orphanage, I was so excited to see that Sasha was one of the kids who came out to meet us as we drove up.  I walked over to her, hugged her and told her that I missed her while I was gone.  She looked up at me, half-smiled and said, “OK.”  I thought to myself, “I guess I’m going to have to work at building this relationship up again.”  In a way that makes sense though, Sasha is now a teenage girl.  Things are never going to be simple with her again.  Since that first day, she has been at a different orphanage getting glasses.  (It sounds like something you would make up, but in the orphanage system getting glasses is a process that takes up to a month.  No idea why.)
Sasha and I last summer
On the whole, most of the kids have been very happy to have us back, and we just pick up where we left off.  A few of the older boys have even wanted to hang out with me a bit, which is surprising and encouraging. 
One boy, Vladic, who happens to be one of my favorites, came around the corner my first day back.  He was calling out to his friend when he saw me.  “Hey!” he cried out, “Its … you!”  And then he ran over in a dead sprint to give me a hug.  It was awesome, and I was so glad to see Vladic, and we’ve hung out every time I have gone up to the orphanage. 
My buddy, Vladic
But this highlighted something that has been happening for the past two years.  No matter how much time we spend with some of the kids, they don’t remember our names.  Some of them, I can push and they actually do remember, they just don’t think about it.  For a while, it got me down.  I couldn’t understand why they couldn’t learn my name, and then it dawned on me.  People come and visit the orphanage all the time.  Visitors come from all over the world to spend a few days with the kids, they connect, then they leave and never come back.  And even though we visit every week, we aren’t a fixture in their lives.  The kids are conditioned to not form lasting relationships with people. 
And honestly, I’m not sure what to do about that.  Other than just keep being in their lives.

Janna and Doug and a gaggle of kids

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