One day, last year, I was walking down the hall of the orphanage school. As I rounded a corner, I saw Alina sitting on the floor and crying. I still don’t know what was wrong, but I just sat with her and put my arm around her. She would slide away, or push me away, but I just gently and persistently stayed there. Eventually, she found her composure and left.
I didn’t even know how to ask, “What happened?” Now I do.
Last week, I saw that Vadeem was crying. I went and put my arm around him and he pushed me away. I stayed though, and asked, “What happened?” It was a little slurred through the tears and I only understood about 50% of the words he said, but I’m pretty sure his mom had said she was coming to visit, and didn’t.
That happens a lot.
So, I hugged him, told him I was sorry, and for the 100th time wished I could take a kid out of that place.
Last year, with Alina, I felt sad, but I didn’t know what was wrong, so I couldn’t really empathize. Now, I’m starting to understand what the kids say, and therefore what they are going through.
Its good, but it’s a lot harder emotionally.
We wrote in our last newsletter that we can communicate so much better with the kids in the orphanage this year. It’s great. I got to meet Anya, she’s a sweet girl. I’ve learned why she is there, her mom has medical problems. But the downside is that I have a more realistic view of what she is going through. She’s 13 and hasn’t been in a orphanage before, that makes it harder in some ways to cope. Just being in the orphanage greatly increases her chances of being sexually abused, and she’s very pretty, which doesn’t help her chances at all. I’ve spent a lot of time the last few weeks worrying about Anya. How will she adjust? What will happen to her? Will she be abused? Will she be able to have a healthy life? Is there something we could do to help that we aren’t?
So, I’ve been bracing myself. This is the job.
I didn’t even know how to ask, “What happened?” Now I do.
Last week, I saw that Vadeem was crying. I went and put my arm around him and he pushed me away. I stayed though, and asked, “What happened?” It was a little slurred through the tears and I only understood about 50% of the words he said, but I’m pretty sure his mom had said she was coming to visit, and didn’t.
That happens a lot.
So, I hugged him, told him I was sorry, and for the 100th time wished I could take a kid out of that place.
Last year, with Alina, I felt sad, but I didn’t know what was wrong, so I couldn’t really empathize. Now, I’m starting to understand what the kids say, and therefore what they are going through.
Its good, but it’s a lot harder emotionally.
We wrote in our last newsletter that we can communicate so much better with the kids in the orphanage this year. It’s great. I got to meet Anya, she’s a sweet girl. I’ve learned why she is there, her mom has medical problems. But the downside is that I have a more realistic view of what she is going through. She’s 13 and hasn’t been in a orphanage before, that makes it harder in some ways to cope. Just being in the orphanage greatly increases her chances of being sexually abused, and she’s very pretty, which doesn’t help her chances at all. I’ve spent a lot of time the last few weeks worrying about Anya. How will she adjust? What will happen to her? Will she be abused? Will she be able to have a healthy life? Is there something we could do to help that we aren’t?
So, I’ve been bracing myself. This is the job.
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