Tania and Slavic aren’t going to be the House Parents for Smile House.
It’s horrible news and it’s taken a while for that to sink in. With less than 2 months before the school year starts, we are suddenly back to square one.
It boiled down to two issues. 1) They had been told that the girls from Komrivka were already enrolled in vocational school near Komrivka, and they couldn’t be taken out. And 2) When Tania and Slavic approached the social services people in the region where they live about the possibility of them moving to Kiev, they were told that if they tried, their son and daughter (foster kids that they have had for the past 2 years), could be taken away.
Both issues were a bunch of baloney.
The person who said that we couldn’t move the girls from schools near Komrivka to schools near Kiev, was probably just a fatalistic person who thought that they do things the way they do them because its the only way that it can be done. It may have been the same person who originally told Doug that only one girl could move to Smile House this year because the rest weren’t good girls and would be a waste of our time. We don’t buy either claim.
The issue with social services most likely arose because someone in social services saw an opportunity to earn a few bucks under the table, if they just said no. People who adopt in Ukraine have to be allowed to move, in a lot of situations its a better thing. For example, what if parents found a better job that would allow them to better provide for their family. That’s a good reason to move. That’s part of why Tania and Slavic were moving.
Even our lawyer, Dima, told us, and told Tania and Slavic, that these weren’t insurmountable problems. In this country, you may hear often that many things simply can’t be done, but the truth is exactly the opposite. You can do anything.
But we’re pretty sure that the social services person threatening to take away their kids sealed the deal for Tania and Slavic. Doug said this happens with a lot of people here in Ukraine. They simply got scared of losing their kids.
Not long ago. I was pulled over for running a yellow light. Yeah, that’s right, yellow. The police officer even admitting that it was yellow, eventually. But he had me get into his car, and tried to get me to give him money. I refused. I was even fairly polite about it even though I was peeved, because … the light was yellow. Finally, he started writing me a ticket. This is absurd, the only time I can’t get a police officer to write me a ticket is when I wasn’t in the wrong. Then as he was writing the ticket, he stopped three times, and frustratedly said, “I don’t want to write this ticket, just give me money and you can go. It will be cheaper” My frustation and my determination grew. “No, I’m not giving you any money. Write the ticket.”
I later told this story … with flourish, and in not too bad Russian, I might add … at Safe Haven. Every one loved it when I told them that I practiced my response to the statement, “Give me some money.” My eyes go wide and I say in a shocked voice, “But that’s corruption.” It was a hit every time I told it.
People enjoyed my story, but Bogdon asked me, “So you never have to pay the police?” I answered with plenty of self-righteous conviction, “I never will.”
“That’s because you’re American.”
I thought about that one sentence the rest of the evening. If anything happens to me, I can always call the American Embassy, I have plenty of people who will fight and stick up for me. And, honestly we have the finances to fight … whoever.
People who have always lived in Ukraine aren’t that lucky. Granted we would have fought for Tania and Slavic, but its still hard for them to step out on a limb. Only, 21 years ago the communist regime was in power. They were infamous for sending people away for just stepping out of line a little. People today agree, the government hasn’t really taken up the cause of the people in the past 20 years. The government will always be bad; it’s something, unfortunately, that most people have simply accepted as fact. So to survive here, you try to keep your head down.
In May we went to Poland for a border hop to reset our visas. Janna and I were in a line at passport control going into Poland. Every Ukrainian had their red passports, and they also had a folder full of all kinds of documents. All we had was our blue passports. Passport control wanted to see proof of work, and return reservations from the Ukrainians because they were trying to keep people from just leaving Ukraine and staying in Poland forever. After waiting forever as the line just crawled, we started timing. The fastest person took a minute and a half at the passport control window. Most people took 4 minutes or more, and spent most of their time frantically digging through their papers trying to prove that they were worthy of visiting Poland.
Then our turn came. Janna and I were both through in less than a minute, combined.
At first I was really frustrated that Tania and Slavic would cave in to these little problems. But I think I’m slowly starting to understand that, right or wrong, they have really good reason to believe that they live by a different set of rules.
We have so many examples. Our blue passports mean that even in Ukraine, we’re free in so many ways. I’m free to argue with a police officer, free to refuse to pay a bribe. Free to write unflattering things about the state of things in Ukraine.
People with red passports, don’t have that freedom. They don’t get to live with the fearlessness … and wrecklessness, that I do.
It’s horrible news and it’s taken a while for that to sink in. With less than 2 months before the school year starts, we are suddenly back to square one.
It boiled down to two issues. 1) They had been told that the girls from Komrivka were already enrolled in vocational school near Komrivka, and they couldn’t be taken out. And 2) When Tania and Slavic approached the social services people in the region where they live about the possibility of them moving to Kiev, they were told that if they tried, their son and daughter (foster kids that they have had for the past 2 years), could be taken away.
Both issues were a bunch of baloney.
The person who said that we couldn’t move the girls from schools near Komrivka to schools near Kiev, was probably just a fatalistic person who thought that they do things the way they do them because its the only way that it can be done. It may have been the same person who originally told Doug that only one girl could move to Smile House this year because the rest weren’t good girls and would be a waste of our time. We don’t buy either claim.
The issue with social services most likely arose because someone in social services saw an opportunity to earn a few bucks under the table, if they just said no. People who adopt in Ukraine have to be allowed to move, in a lot of situations its a better thing. For example, what if parents found a better job that would allow them to better provide for their family. That’s a good reason to move. That’s part of why Tania and Slavic were moving.
Even our lawyer, Dima, told us, and told Tania and Slavic, that these weren’t insurmountable problems. In this country, you may hear often that many things simply can’t be done, but the truth is exactly the opposite. You can do anything.
But we’re pretty sure that the social services person threatening to take away their kids sealed the deal for Tania and Slavic. Doug said this happens with a lot of people here in Ukraine. They simply got scared of losing their kids.
Not long ago. I was pulled over for running a yellow light. Yeah, that’s right, yellow. The police officer even admitting that it was yellow, eventually. But he had me get into his car, and tried to get me to give him money. I refused. I was even fairly polite about it even though I was peeved, because … the light was yellow. Finally, he started writing me a ticket. This is absurd, the only time I can’t get a police officer to write me a ticket is when I wasn’t in the wrong. Then as he was writing the ticket, he stopped three times, and frustratedly said, “I don’t want to write this ticket, just give me money and you can go. It will be cheaper” My frustation and my determination grew. “No, I’m not giving you any money. Write the ticket.”
I later told this story … with flourish, and in not too bad Russian, I might add … at Safe Haven. Every one loved it when I told them that I practiced my response to the statement, “Give me some money.” My eyes go wide and I say in a shocked voice, “But that’s corruption.” It was a hit every time I told it.
People enjoyed my story, but Bogdon asked me, “So you never have to pay the police?” I answered with plenty of self-righteous conviction, “I never will.”
“That’s because you’re American.”
I thought about that one sentence the rest of the evening. If anything happens to me, I can always call the American Embassy, I have plenty of people who will fight and stick up for me. And, honestly we have the finances to fight … whoever.
People who have always lived in Ukraine aren’t that lucky. Granted we would have fought for Tania and Slavic, but its still hard for them to step out on a limb. Only, 21 years ago the communist regime was in power. They were infamous for sending people away for just stepping out of line a little. People today agree, the government hasn’t really taken up the cause of the people in the past 20 years. The government will always be bad; it’s something, unfortunately, that most people have simply accepted as fact. So to survive here, you try to keep your head down.
In May we went to Poland for a border hop to reset our visas. Janna and I were in a line at passport control going into Poland. Every Ukrainian had their red passports, and they also had a folder full of all kinds of documents. All we had was our blue passports. Passport control wanted to see proof of work, and return reservations from the Ukrainians because they were trying to keep people from just leaving Ukraine and staying in Poland forever. After waiting forever as the line just crawled, we started timing. The fastest person took a minute and a half at the passport control window. Most people took 4 minutes or more, and spent most of their time frantically digging through their papers trying to prove that they were worthy of visiting Poland.
Then our turn came. Janna and I were both through in less than a minute, combined.
At first I was really frustrated that Tania and Slavic would cave in to these little problems. But I think I’m slowly starting to understand that, right or wrong, they have really good reason to believe that they live by a different set of rules.
We have so many examples. Our blue passports mean that even in Ukraine, we’re free in so many ways. I’m free to argue with a police officer, free to refuse to pay a bribe. Free to write unflattering things about the state of things in Ukraine.
People with red passports, don’t have that freedom. They don’t get to live with the fearlessness … and wrecklessness, that I do.
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