*** I’ve changed the names of the people in this story. They have been through enough.
I’m sitting in the hospital trying to put down my thoughts on all that happened today. And my feet are freezing. It’s strange that after all that’s gone on, that should cross my mind. But since this is where we end up, it’s kinda relevant. After all shouldn’t a hospital be warm? Even in Ukraine?
The girls heard about them one day when we were visiting the orphanage. Meisha and Janna went to visit them. They were staying in an apartment on the orphanage campus. And they had nothing. The clothing they were wearing was in rags. They couldn’t afford to buy food so the baby was sick and constantly crying because he was starving.
Immediately the girls got them some food. The next week we found clothes for the whole family and took them enough formula to last a month. And pretty much every week since that time they have gone by and checked on Jane. It may have something to do with the precious little baby, but we can forgive them for that.
Last week we learned that Jane’s brother-in-law had started beating Jane. Dave is only about 20 and actually grew up in the orphanage in Komarivka. After he graduated and left the orphanage in the 9th grade, Dave never studied again. He never found a job. He stayed in the village and became a bum, and a drunk. Apparently, this is just what his father had done before him. The statistics say that the majority of the kids turn to crime and alcohol after they leave the orphanage. Dave is just riding the tide.
Alcohol in Ukraine is cheap, but it’s not free. So when Jane showed up in town, she presented a solution to his money problems. Every month Jane collects a welfare check for her three children. Last month, Dave and two of his friends met Jane as she was headed home from the welfare office and demanded that she give them the money. When she refused, they beat her up and took it.
When Meisha saw Jane after that, the right side of Jane’s face was all black and she was so bruised on her torso that she couldn’t bend over. She begged Meisha not to tell anyone because Dave was in the house and drunk. If he found out Meisha was telling people, he’d beat Jane more.
So we talked to the orphanage staff. They said Jane is not a bad mom. She doesn’t drink. She always makes sure the kids are clean.
But she has a bad family. Her husband is in prison. Her mom stayed with them for a while and was constantly drinking. Her brother-in-law drinks and is abusive. We learned that the police have enough on the brother-in-law to put him in prison, but he rats out other people so the police leave him alone. All of them stay around her because, even though she is poor, she does have some money coming in every month. And she’s an easy mark.
We also found out that she can barely read and probably can’t write. And she is a gypsy in a very racist nation. So there aren’t a lot of options for her to move away to a better life.
We showed up and the doctor was checking on the baby, Matt. Apparently all the kids were sick, but the doctor thought that Matt might have pneumonia. He told her she needed to take him to the hospital now. We were thinking this might be perfect. We could give them a ride to the hospital and have the opportunity to talk to Jane about how we could help her.
She didn’t want to go to the hospital.
What?!
They argued for 20 minutes, and finally the doctor gave up and left in a huff.
Over the next hour, Meisha tried to talk Jane into taking her kids to the hospital, then while we bought diapers two nurses arrived, looked at Matt and told Jane that he needed to be in the hospital. Through all of this she stayed firm, I’m not taking my kids to the hospital. She would try and tell us that she would do it tomorrow, but we knew she was trying to get us to leave it alone.
We were still in the house trying to convince her to change her mind when the police showed up. We didn’t know whether to be relieved, shocked, or scared. We have heard from a lot of people that if anything goes wrong you do not call the police. Police in Ukraine have worked very hard to earn the terrible reputation they have. One of our first thoughts when we learned about all of this was to call the police, but the general consensus was that they wouldn’t do anything unless we paid them to do something and if we paid them to do something they might get the idea that they could create situations like this to get the Americans to pay them to come in and fix problems all the time. Gotta love corruption.
The village head had heard about the beating from the director of the orphanage and he called the police. So they showed up and asked Jane what had happened. But when she told them they said there was nothing they could do because the bruises were healed. They left, supposedly to find the brother-in-law. The main thing they accomplished was studying my driver’s license for 5 minutes and actually pronouncing Colorado correctly.
So we were back to trying to convince Jane to come to the hospital with us. Finally, she consented. She and Meisha started dressing the kids. Me and the other guys stepped outside to wait.
And wait and wait.
By the time we learned that she had changed her mind and was not taking her kids to the hospital, the police showed up again. They learned that the kids were sick and told her that if she didn’t take them to the hospital, then they would take her kids away from her. When she said no, they started yelling.
Lucy, Jane's daughter, is 7. She was in the room hearing all of this. She heard everything all day long.
I just used the restroom. There was no hot water. It was freezing.
Today is Lucy’s birthday, she just turned 7. Her life is full of fear. All day long her mom has been fighting with people to not go to the hospital. A lot of people have yelled. Police threatened to take her away from her mom. Now she is sitting in a cold hospital and we find out she had lice.
Today has been rough, but this is the point where I might break. Why today? I’m praying the next room is at least warm. “Please God, let them have warm water in there. Don’t make her wash her hair with freezing cold water.”
I don’t know if my prayer was answered.
I spend a lot of time wishing I could take these kids out of this place.
I’m sitting in the hospital trying to put down my thoughts on all that happened today. And my feet are freezing. It’s strange that after all that’s gone on, that should cross my mind. But since this is where we end up, it’s kinda relevant. After all shouldn’t a hospital be warm? Even in Ukraine?
******
Jane moved to Komarivka last fall. Her husband had just been sent to prison for murder. She had a 6 year old daughter, Lucy, a 3 year old son, Evan. And a one month old baby, Matt. The girls heard about them one day when we were visiting the orphanage. Meisha and Janna went to visit them. They were staying in an apartment on the orphanage campus. And they had nothing. The clothing they were wearing was in rags. They couldn’t afford to buy food so the baby was sick and constantly crying because he was starving.
Immediately the girls got them some food. The next week we found clothes for the whole family and took them enough formula to last a month. And pretty much every week since that time they have gone by and checked on Jane. It may have something to do with the precious little baby, but we can forgive them for that.
Last week we learned that Jane’s brother-in-law had started beating Jane. Dave is only about 20 and actually grew up in the orphanage in Komarivka. After he graduated and left the orphanage in the 9th grade, Dave never studied again. He never found a job. He stayed in the village and became a bum, and a drunk. Apparently, this is just what his father had done before him. The statistics say that the majority of the kids turn to crime and alcohol after they leave the orphanage. Dave is just riding the tide.
Alcohol in Ukraine is cheap, but it’s not free. So when Jane showed up in town, she presented a solution to his money problems. Every month Jane collects a welfare check for her three children. Last month, Dave and two of his friends met Jane as she was headed home from the welfare office and demanded that she give them the money. When she refused, they beat her up and took it.
When Meisha saw Jane after that, the right side of Jane’s face was all black and she was so bruised on her torso that she couldn’t bend over. She begged Meisha not to tell anyone because Dave was in the house and drunk. If he found out Meisha was telling people, he’d beat Jane more.
So we talked to the orphanage staff. They said Jane is not a bad mom. She doesn’t drink. She always makes sure the kids are clean.
But she has a bad family. Her husband is in prison. Her mom stayed with them for a while and was constantly drinking. Her brother-in-law drinks and is abusive. We learned that the police have enough on the brother-in-law to put him in prison, but he rats out other people so the police leave him alone. All of them stay around her because, even though she is poor, she does have some money coming in every month. And she’s an easy mark.
We also found out that she can barely read and probably can’t write. And she is a gypsy in a very racist nation. So there aren’t a lot of options for her to move away to a better life.
******
So we showed up at the house today planning on talking to Jane about her options for getting away from these abusive people. But we weren’t too hopeful, because to get away, she would have to want to get away. We showed up and the doctor was checking on the baby, Matt. Apparently all the kids were sick, but the doctor thought that Matt might have pneumonia. He told her she needed to take him to the hospital now. We were thinking this might be perfect. We could give them a ride to the hospital and have the opportunity to talk to Jane about how we could help her.
She didn’t want to go to the hospital.
What?!
They argued for 20 minutes, and finally the doctor gave up and left in a huff.
Over the next hour, Meisha tried to talk Jane into taking her kids to the hospital, then while we bought diapers two nurses arrived, looked at Matt and told Jane that he needed to be in the hospital. Through all of this she stayed firm, I’m not taking my kids to the hospital. She would try and tell us that she would do it tomorrow, but we knew she was trying to get us to leave it alone.
We were still in the house trying to convince her to change her mind when the police showed up. We didn’t know whether to be relieved, shocked, or scared. We have heard from a lot of people that if anything goes wrong you do not call the police. Police in Ukraine have worked very hard to earn the terrible reputation they have. One of our first thoughts when we learned about all of this was to call the police, but the general consensus was that they wouldn’t do anything unless we paid them to do something and if we paid them to do something they might get the idea that they could create situations like this to get the Americans to pay them to come in and fix problems all the time. Gotta love corruption.
The village head had heard about the beating from the director of the orphanage and he called the police. So they showed up and asked Jane what had happened. But when she told them they said there was nothing they could do because the bruises were healed. They left, supposedly to find the brother-in-law. The main thing they accomplished was studying my driver’s license for 5 minutes and actually pronouncing Colorado correctly.
So we were back to trying to convince Jane to come to the hospital with us. Finally, she consented. She and Meisha started dressing the kids. Me and the other guys stepped outside to wait.
And wait and wait.
By the time we learned that she had changed her mind and was not taking her kids to the hospital, the police showed up again. They learned that the kids were sick and told her that if she didn’t take them to the hospital, then they would take her kids away from her. When she said no, they started yelling.
Lucy, Jane's daughter, is 7. She was in the room hearing all of this. She heard everything all day long.
******
Finally we got Jane to give in. We got them loaded into the car, the nurse from the orphanage came with us, and now we are at the hospital. After waiting for the doctor, we found out that Jane and Lucy had lice, so before they could be checked in and start dealing with Matt’s pneumonia, they had to be de-liced. I just used the restroom. There was no hot water. It was freezing.
Today is Lucy’s birthday, she just turned 7. Her life is full of fear. All day long her mom has been fighting with people to not go to the hospital. A lot of people have yelled. Police threatened to take her away from her mom. Now she is sitting in a cold hospital and we find out she had lice.
Today has been rough, but this is the point where I might break. Why today? I’m praying the next room is at least warm. “Please God, let them have warm water in there. Don’t make her wash her hair with freezing cold water.”
I don’t know if my prayer was answered.
******
We finally made it to the hospital rooms. Doug and Meisha went to the store to buy all of the medicine for Jane and her family. I bumped into Vita, an 8 year old girl from Komarivka that I am totally in love with. I’m not sure how long she had been in the hospital, but I know she’s been alone. So we sat and looked at pictures of my niece and our trip to London while the doctor examined Matt. Vita made me promise that if she learned English I would take her with me to London someday. That is one rash promise that I sincerely hope I have to stand by. I spend a lot of time wishing I could take these kids out of this place.
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