Usually when I have something to write about here, I try to find a little story that helps me show my point. For example, when I wanted to write about our fight to keep these kids from becoming statistics, I wrote about the day I had 2 hours to make a three hour trip so that Petro could keep his job. Or when I wanted to show that one of our biggest challenges will be teaching the kids motivation, I told about Anya choosing to do as little exercise as she could while she was in rehab. I’m always looking for that little snapshot that helps us understand the larger, more complicated picture a little better.
So, since January, I’ve been trying to put together a piece about Bogdon. I’ve been looking for a little story that gives the perfect glimpse of all that Bogdon is. He and his wife Anya have been running Safe Haven (the transition home we are modeling Smile House after) for over 10 years. He is such a huge part of how this whole thing works, and I wanted to let you guys be able to see just who this amazing dude was.
But it has been so hard to come up with the right story.
I have a lot of cool little stories, lots of little encounters that make me think, “Man! I’ve gotta tell everyone about that!” But the thing is when I look back on the stories I don’t come up with a solid point of THIS is who Bogdon is, but we do get to see some neat little sides of him, so I just want to give you a glimpse of what we see in this guy.
Bogdon the (occasionally) Talkative
Bogdon doesn’t usually talk a lot. There is a video about Safe Haven in our Videos section, and Anya talks for several minutes and the entire time Bogdon just sits beside her and occasionally nods. I watched it with the guys at Safe Haven not long ago, and we all had a good laugh watching him try not to look uncomfortable in front of the camera. For a long time I just thought he rarely talked.
But, one Sunday in November, a few young people from another church came and joined us at Safe Haven. Bogdon let them in the gate and then while they were taking off their shoes and jackets he rushed into the living room, and quickly told us that some young people were visiting from another church. Then he singled out the single people in the room. “Luba, straighten your hair and use your pretty smile today! Andrei, tuck in your shirt and stop slouching!” and on he went embarrassing a fair chunk of the people in the room. But everyone took it well. When our visitors came in, we started to go around the circle and tell who we were and a little about ourselves.
We didn’t get very far. Apparently we were very boring.
About five people in (out of probably 30), I think Bogdon had had enough. His family wasn’t doing a good enough job telling about themselves. So he took over. In the most fluid, rapid-fire speech I have ever heard, he started introducing everyone in the house. He cracked jokes, he bragged, he moved on. The whole house was rolling with laughter, almost everyone blushed when he talked about them, but it was cool to see how everyone looked at Bogdon after he told what he thought was important about them.
Janna and I understood very little of what he said, but we found out later that we didn’t know how to speak English … or Russian … maybe we couldn’t talk, at least that’s what Bogdon had said about us.
It was the most I have ever heard Bogdon say. Reflecting, later that day, I thought it was cool. The first time I heard Bogdon say more than a few words … and he was bragging on his family.
Bogdon the Dad
We spent New Year’s on a Retreat with the whole Safe Haven Church. I had been working hard the week before, so I showed up at the retreat exhausted, but I was determined to stay up till midnight. I didn’t really know that every one else was determined to stay up till sunrise. At 1 in the morning, I was in bed trying to sleep. Bogdon crashed into the room; saw me, apologized, and left. Less than a minute later he was tapping on my shoulder. “Are you OK?”
“Yeah, I’m just really tired. I want to sleep,” I slurred in Russian
“Ah, sorry, sorry” And as he left I thought it was cool that at a retreat with about 40 people, at 1 in the morning he was willing to take the time to check on me … even if I just wanted to pass out.
5 minutes later I heard those same words in that same voice. “Sorry, Sorry!”
I opened my eyes and stared at this bearded man who looked nervous and excited and kinda like a 5 year old in his behavior.
“My son, Roma, called he … get…” and then he held up his wedding ring.
“Married?” I asked, as my brain starts trying to rumble to life. I’m so glad he’s speaking in English. He has a son who is old enough to get married? I thought Danya and Pasha were his only sons. I’m pretty sure that he’s only been married to Anya for 10 years. Was he married before? Are they playing swing music from the 50’s? For a second, I started getting a little worried about the past of Bogdon, but I didn’t need to be.
“No, not married, he ask.” Bogdon replied, still as excited as a little boy.
“He’s engaged?”
“Yes, yes, he ask. Ira say yes.”
Well that was cool, but I was still a little confused, “Who … are we talking about?”
“My son, Roma. You know …”
I knew Roma who lived in Safe Haven, but he was one of the boys from the orphanage, he wasn’t actually Bogdon’s son. Who was he talking about? (remember it was 1 in the morning and my brain was working at about 1/4 speed.
Obviously he could tell by my confused look that I needed more explanation. “Roma, my son, he ask Ira, in Carpathia, they will get …” and he held his wedding ring. “My son and daughter will ….” and he held his wedding ring
I got it. Roma and Ira were getting married. Wow. That was cool.
And then it hit me, Roma is Bogdon’s son. That was how Bogdon thought of him. Not just a kid who lived in their house. Not even my adopted son, but just MY SON.
Since that time we’ve seen it more at Safe Haven, all of those kids are his sons and daughters. They are not just kids who go through their program. Not just kids they love a lot. They are family. He’s their dad, and he acts it.
How cool is that?
Bogdon the Nut
Bogdon is crazy, creative, hilariously funny, and he’s kinda ADD. He builds little people out of random junk.
He uses irons and water faucets for door handles and he nails phones and cd players to any surface he can find.
And he can never sit through an entire church service (don’t judge. they usually last 2-4 hours; most of you would have trouble, too). He collects old cameras, funny bottles, and he loves X-rays. Last week, a guy brought in his cranial X-ray to give to Bogdon, and Bogdon was so happy he almost cried. It was a little creepy, but mostly it was just funny to watch. To top it off, he has no problem looking like this:
A few weeks ago the whole crew visited Smile House, and after looking at Janna’s handstand album, he tried his own:
And he didn’t feel embarrassed that he could only go up that high. Although apparently the tile hurt his head.
When Anya, Bogdon’s wife was talking with us about who we would choose to be House Parents at Smile House, she talked about the kids that come into her home. Most of them are 18 or older. They are old enough to be adults, and they think they want to be adults, but they don’t know how, because no one has shown them. They also never got to truly be kids for the same reason, their parents were never parents. So a huge part of their job at Safe Haven is to teach these kids to be kids and then to teach them to be an adult.
So its perfect for them that Bogdon is just a big kid, with a beard. He doesn’t let life get him down. He’s learned to laugh even on the worst day in the world.
And for him its not so much a side of his personality as much as it really is who he is. One Sunday he came in, started joking around, and messing around with the guys and had everyone laughing. Then he sat down with the girls and started having girl-talk about smartphones. Five minutes later, he said “Alright let’s pray,” and we jumped into a half hour of praying for all of the families that help with Safe Haven. As I watched him, I was in awe at how natural it was for him to be with the boys, to be with the girls and to lead us in prayer. He never had to stop and turn that part of his personality on. He just is friend, father, follower of Christ, all the time.
I wanna be more like that.
*****
I’m positive that I’ve only touched the surface of who Bogdon is. He’s one of those people who is just himself and doesn’t worry about what you think about him. He’s also one of the most loving most generous people I know, I love his big welcome hugs that he gives me whenever I see him. And he makes me laugh even when I don’t understand a word of what he’s saying, he just has charisma. And I’m not the only one who thinks he’s great. We’ve talked to a number of the kids one on one, and all of them have said the same thing. Everyone loves Bogdon … a lot.
At the end of the New Year’s Retreat he asked me how I was doing, I told him better. Still tired. But then I asked him how he was.
He stopped. Looked at me. “I have hard year, many things. I pray much … Now I know… God is Gospod (Lord). Now … my heart … peace … happy. I am good.”
We talked for a little after that. Its tough because most of what he knows in English I know in Russian, which isn’t that much. But at the end he told me he wanted to sit down and talk more … with an interpreter so we can get to know each other more.
I couldn’t wait.
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