The standard expectation when you get pulled over in Ukraine is that the police want a bribe. Its unfortunate, but its been this way for a long time. In a lot of ways, its easiest to compare it to a poker game.
I (Daniel) got pulled over for speeding last week. I was doing 88 in a 80 maximum zone (kilometers per hour, so not as bad as it sounds). In truth it was a 60 kph zone, but the rule is that you are allowed to go 20 kph over the posted speed limit (no such thing as an absolute rule here). In addition, I’ve never seen the 60 kph sign anywhere on that highway (I’m still going to look one last time to be sure). I thought the speed limit was 90, but apparently I was wrong.
It wasn’t the first time I have been pulled over. The first time I was pacing Doug as he flew up to Komrivka, but thankfully Doug talk to the officer for me. And the second time was just a random document check, rather uneventful.
But this time I was speeding and Doug wasn’t around to argue with the police for us, which is always fun to watch.
The officer walked up to the car, said something (there is a possibility that all of my quotes in this story are wrong) and asked for my documents. He told me that I had been going 88 (so glad I know my numbers) and I agreed with him, that’s how fast I had been going. Me agreeing threw him off just a little bit. I was changing the game off from the get-go.
Then he asked me to step out of the car. We went to his partner who had a video of the van and my speed was clocked at 88. Again, I agreed, “Yep, that’s me.”
So, the first officer asked me to sit in his car with him. And he started speaking … quickly. This is all supposed to be a game, when he made me sit in his car, he wanted me to understand that this was a serious issue, I was supposed to really be getting scared now. But I had been going 8 kph over, not plotting to overthrow the government.
I caught some words like: write, ticket, bank, 300 griven, bad. So I think he was saying something along these lines. “I could write you a ticket, but it will be bad for you, you will have to go to the bank and pay three hundred griven.” I’m pretty sure this is right, or at least close, because its what police officers have told other people.
After saying all this, he looked at me and waited.
It was my cue to say something like, “Could I just give you some money and have you take care of it for me?” But that wasn’t going to happen. I’ve heard stories that are much more intense with threats of prison, the impounding of a vehicle, exportation, and just general intimidation. This guy didn’t do any of that. In fact he actually seemed like a pretty nice guy.
And getting a ticket didn’t really scare me.
I replied, “OK. You can write me a ticket.” Seriously, 300 griven is less than $40 dollars which would be the cheapest speeding ticket I’ve ever paid.
The police officer stared at me for a second.
And then laughed. It was that kind of laugh that he was trying to keep inside, but the situation was so absurd to him that it just burst out.
He grabbed the ticket book and his pen and watched me. I’m pretty sure that he was waiting for my poker face to crack. “You want me to write you a ticket?” He asked slowly and started moving his pen towards the paper. He even pulled the pen back in a couple of feints, so that now I was the one have a hard time not laughing. Thankfully, I was preoccupied with trying to listen and think of what to say in Russian.
“I … was … fast. Ticket will be fine” I said, thinking that I can’t wait till I learn a few specific verbs and adjectives.
Silence. Lexi, who was with us at the time, is sure that he was just in awe at what a cool customer I was. The officer moved the pen towards the ticket book one last time and I thought for just a second that he was actually going to do it. Then he tossed the book on the dashboard, handed me my documents and waved me out of the car.
I’ve never tried to talk a police officer into writing me a ticket. Typically, I’ve just taken a posture of, “You’re right I was speeding, and I’m sorry.” Hoping for a little mercy. Once I was pulled over 10 hours into a 14 hour drive home. I was going 5 over in an obvious speed trap and lost. I spent 45 minutes trying to talk that officer into giving me a warning, but he was determined to write me a ticket. But asking for a ticket is a definite first.
Doug gets pulled over about once a week. But he’s never gotten a ticket. In fact as I sat in that car, I thought that it might actually be cool if I did get a ticket because then I could show it off to everyone I know, “This is what a speeding ticket looks like.” Furthermore, refusing to pay bribes is the only real way that we can protest the corruption.
And so I will continue to surprise the police who expect me to be scared.
Don’t worry, I’ll also keep it under 80 on that highway.
I (Daniel) got pulled over for speeding last week. I was doing 88 in a 80 maximum zone (kilometers per hour, so not as bad as it sounds). In truth it was a 60 kph zone, but the rule is that you are allowed to go 20 kph over the posted speed limit (no such thing as an absolute rule here). In addition, I’ve never seen the 60 kph sign anywhere on that highway (I’m still going to look one last time to be sure). I thought the speed limit was 90, but apparently I was wrong.
It wasn’t the first time I have been pulled over. The first time I was pacing Doug as he flew up to Komrivka, but thankfully Doug talk to the officer for me. And the second time was just a random document check, rather uneventful.
But this time I was speeding and Doug wasn’t around to argue with the police for us, which is always fun to watch.
The officer walked up to the car, said something (there is a possibility that all of my quotes in this story are wrong) and asked for my documents. He told me that I had been going 88 (so glad I know my numbers) and I agreed with him, that’s how fast I had been going. Me agreeing threw him off just a little bit. I was changing the game off from the get-go.
Then he asked me to step out of the car. We went to his partner who had a video of the van and my speed was clocked at 88. Again, I agreed, “Yep, that’s me.”
So, the first officer asked me to sit in his car with him. And he started speaking … quickly. This is all supposed to be a game, when he made me sit in his car, he wanted me to understand that this was a serious issue, I was supposed to really be getting scared now. But I had been going 8 kph over, not plotting to overthrow the government.
I caught some words like: write, ticket, bank, 300 griven, bad. So I think he was saying something along these lines. “I could write you a ticket, but it will be bad for you, you will have to go to the bank and pay three hundred griven.” I’m pretty sure this is right, or at least close, because its what police officers have told other people.
After saying all this, he looked at me and waited.
It was my cue to say something like, “Could I just give you some money and have you take care of it for me?” But that wasn’t going to happen. I’ve heard stories that are much more intense with threats of prison, the impounding of a vehicle, exportation, and just general intimidation. This guy didn’t do any of that. In fact he actually seemed like a pretty nice guy.
And getting a ticket didn’t really scare me.
I replied, “OK. You can write me a ticket.” Seriously, 300 griven is less than $40 dollars which would be the cheapest speeding ticket I’ve ever paid.
The police officer stared at me for a second.
And then laughed. It was that kind of laugh that he was trying to keep inside, but the situation was so absurd to him that it just burst out.
He grabbed the ticket book and his pen and watched me. I’m pretty sure that he was waiting for my poker face to crack. “You want me to write you a ticket?” He asked slowly and started moving his pen towards the paper. He even pulled the pen back in a couple of feints, so that now I was the one have a hard time not laughing. Thankfully, I was preoccupied with trying to listen and think of what to say in Russian.
“I … was … fast. Ticket will be fine” I said, thinking that I can’t wait till I learn a few specific verbs and adjectives.
Silence. Lexi, who was with us at the time, is sure that he was just in awe at what a cool customer I was. The officer moved the pen towards the ticket book one last time and I thought for just a second that he was actually going to do it. Then he tossed the book on the dashboard, handed me my documents and waved me out of the car.
I’ve never tried to talk a police officer into writing me a ticket. Typically, I’ve just taken a posture of, “You’re right I was speeding, and I’m sorry.” Hoping for a little mercy. Once I was pulled over 10 hours into a 14 hour drive home. I was going 5 over in an obvious speed trap and lost. I spent 45 minutes trying to talk that officer into giving me a warning, but he was determined to write me a ticket. But asking for a ticket is a definite first.
Doug gets pulled over about once a week. But he’s never gotten a ticket. In fact as I sat in that car, I thought that it might actually be cool if I did get a ticket because then I could show it off to everyone I know, “This is what a speeding ticket looks like.” Furthermore, refusing to pay bribes is the only real way that we can protest the corruption.
And so I will continue to surprise the police who expect me to be scared.
Don’t worry, I’ll also keep it under 80 on that highway.
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