Just another day in the village

Sorry that I haven't written anything in such a long time. The end of the year was really hectic and I just got out of the habit. Hopefully Janna has kept everyone up to date though with all her pictures and stories.

But I'm back because yesterday was definitely a day that needed to be written about.

A different world

    We typically go up to the orphanage on Wednesdays. It's a process that takes about 3 hours and the further you get from Kiev, it seems like the further back in time you go. About half way there we always pass this 50 year old motorcycle and sidecar that have been for sale for as long as Doug can remember (I think it would be the perfect Christmas present for Cy, Janna's brother), and yesterday about an hour past that, we passed a horse pulling flat wagon loaded with some hay … on the highway.

It feels like a different world. About 10 miles before the turnoff to Komrivka, is a gas station, which has a bathroom. We always stop. And normally none of us drink anything until we get back in the car that evening to head home. Seriously, would you want to go to the bathroom in the outdoor squatty at the orphanage? Especially since if you do, kids will be peaking and trying to watch you.

The trip to Komrivka always reminds us that things will be different.     

Crazy happenings

    Doug dropped us off at the public school and went a few villages over to visit Petro a young man who graduated from the orphanage in Komrivka and whom Doug has taken under his wing since.

    We went into the school and the English teacher who speaks fluent English (a rare thing amongst the English teachers we know) took us to a few of the classes so that we could give out some of the gloves that Meisha's mom has sent us from the States. We took the time in the halls to talk to the English teacher since she has very few people to converse in English with. In the classes we made all of the students say something to us in English before they got gloves. They study every year, but it was pretty sad that the kids knew as little as they did, and it seemed like their lack of motivation was starting to wear on the English teacher.

    Doug showed up after we had gone to the missionary house in Komrivka. And he started telling us what happened during his visit. The first thing he saw as he pulled onto Petro's street were the fire trucks. It turns out that one of Petro's elderly neighbors had gotten drunk the previous night and caught his house on fire. He was killed in the blaze. Doug watched as the fire men pulled the body out of the house, and unceremoniously dropped him in the back of a truck. The house was completely gone.

    As he and Doug stood there, Petro told Doug about another boy who had graduated from the orphanage, that Doug knows. Last week he had tried to commit suicide by slitting his wrists and stabbing himself in the abdomen with a very large knife.

    As the two of them talked, Petro's younger brother kept interrupting and trying to talk to Doug. Doug couldn't understand anything he was trying to say though because he was completely drunk. Petro's brother isn't even 20 yet, and it wasn't even noon when Doug showed up. Normally, Doug tries to be friendly with Petro's brother and challenge him to stop drinking, but yesterday with everything else, it was hard to not be overwhelmed.

    When Doug was telling us these stories, the missionaries in Komrivka, told us that just last week two houses burned down in Komrivka. It seems alcohol almost always plays a part.

    In fact, we know a really sweet guy who is in the clinic/nursing home in Komrivka because years ago when he was drunk he burned down his house and now he doesn't have anything but the little room he shares with another guy at the clinic. He's always so happy when we stop by to visit, because people seldom do.

    As I listened to all this, I kept thinking, "This is a different world."

Even the blankets

    After school we went to the orphanage. It was great, I saw my favorite kids, lots of hugs, lots of smiles. Just what I needed to lift my spirits.

    Then we started to hand out blankets. They were a gift from the states too, and we had given some out over Christmas break to the kids who had to stay in the orphanage instead of going to be with family. Yesterday we were going to give blankets to the rest of the kids.

    We started with the youngest class.

    It was good, but it was insane.

    The teacher had been in the room when we counted how many kids weren't there during break, but when we brought the blankets in, she was gone. So we had to keep a bunch of 5-7 year olds calm and quiet … while we gave out gifts. And the hard part was that not everyone got one. All the kids who had been there weren't going to get another one. Even if they said theirs had been stolen.

    I think Zhenya started it all. We knew he had been there over the break, we have pictures of him with a blanket. But the whole night he followed Doug and asked for another blanket. He said he didn't have his anymore. The problem is that there is a good chance he was telling the truth.

    We all had at least one kid who begged us over and over again.

    Mine was Sasha.

Andre didn't beg, but I had given him a blanket in all the confusion, but Katya was helping us police everything and told me that Andre had already gotten a blanket. I took the blanket back and he just started crying. He tried to keep it hidden, but he was crushed. And I saw him sit there for five minutes, not moving, just crying. That was harder for me than the begging.

    At that point I wasn't thinking it's a different world here, I was thinking "It's a broken world." And I didn't know what to do.

    

At the end of the night, I said goodbye to my Sasha (you can read more about her here). Normally when I'm leaving she decides to start acting like a two year old. A couple of times she's crawled into my arms and called me "Mama" like a little baby, which is a little disconcerting.

    This time though she didn't act like a baby, no tantrum, no crying. Just a simple, but big and genuine hug. And then she quietly told me, "I want to go with you."

I just stared at her. She thought I didn't understand so she made the motion of driving a car. She wasn't begging, she was just telling. "I wish I could go with you." No pleading, just a statement of fact. I     wish I could go with you, I don't really like being here.

"Me too," I told her, and gave her another hug.

It's a fallen world

    The problem isn't that Komrivka is a messed up place, the problem is that we live in a fallen, broken world. It's been broken since we, the caretakers, decided that we were smarter than God and we didn't need Him to run this place. We sure showed Him … that we were wrong. Sometimes it's easier to ignore, but the fallen nature of this world affects our lives every day.

It's why families get upset with each other over stupid things.

It's why even good jobs are frustrating.

It's why churches always seem to be fighting.

It's why that light always turns red.

It's why I'm not finished tiling … still. And everything takes 8 times as long as it should.

It's the reason people drink. And then burn their houses down around them.

It's the reason orphans can't find work and just decide to give up.

It's the reason that a kid who loses a blanket can't get a new one.

It's why a beautiful little girl doesn't have a home.

In the past weeks I have had a LOT of reminders of how messed up the world is.

And I have a choice. I can get depressed, I can get mad, or I can turn to God. His plan was for this world to be right. And he's the only one who can fix it. And thankfully, he's making a new home for us, and that world will be RIGHT.

I heard of a lady who went on a mission trip to Africa. When she got back and was talking to some friends, they asked her how it was. She said she was glad she went, but never wanted to do that kind of thing again. She just didn't like seeing that much suffering.

We can hide from the world. We can pretend that it's not as bad as it really is, but then we can never be a part of God's redemptive plan. To be a part of making this world more like the Kingdom of God, a world full of love and peace; we have to embrace the brokenness of this world as reminders of the way things are and the way that things will one day be.

And so next week, we'll all be back up in Komrivka.

Some great advice from Eileen

    Today I got an email from a friend. She reminded me to give what I can, but don't worry about the things I can't help. God is still in control, and he has a plan. As I face this fallen world, my prayer is that He helps me to believe and not lose hope when I face overwhelming days.